“If you don’t love yourself, you’ll never feel like anyone else does either.” – Bridgett Devoue.
You’ve probably heard this a million times before, but do you actually love yourself? What does it mean to love yourself?
Aren’t we just awful to ourselves sometimes? Blaming ourselves for things that we can control as well as those out of our control? Feeling like s**t when things don’t go the way we want them to? Have you ever wasted time doing absolutely nothing productive, scrolling literally miles on your smartphone and at the end of the day feeling like a loser?
We subject ourselves to endless amounts of criticism, toxic relationships, comparisons with others and harsh self-castigation, it’s just so easy to keep thinking about our inadequacies rather than finding inner peace. It’s not easy to offer love and compassion to others but loving ourselves is even more difficult.
For some people it’s not difficult to love themselves. Heck, some even go to the extremes like narcissism. But for most of us, it’s not easy at all. It’s time to make that self-love journey and here’s my perspective on how to start that difficult-but-totally-worth-it journey.
1. Be your own best friend, because that’s who you will be spending the rest of your life with – as your own best friend, you have to first know who you are.
Remember that annoying SWOT analysis that you’ve learned in almost every management subject you can think of? You can use that to actually understand yourself better and realize what you believe, value and appreciate. By doing this, you will be better able to create healthy relationships with others, to feel more empathy and to be a better listener.
2. Don’t compare yourself to others – it’s so easier said than done though.
Comparing yourself to others usually ends up making you unhappy. It’s a recipe for misery and social media just allows us to compare ourselves to others very easily. So, instead of thinking about what others have and what you don’t, why don’t you use that energy to do more, reflect more, complain less, discuss others less and accomplish more? After all, no one can play your role better than you!
3. You can’t practice self-love without self-care – self-care does not only mean having the perfect skin care routine or getting a scented bubble bath.
Self-care means focusing on YOU, your mental health, your spiritual health and your physical and financial wellbeing. Self-care means forgiving others and most importantly, forgiving yourself.
Sometimes self-care is studying for that test. Sometimes it’s helping others and genuinely feeling good about yourself. Sometimes it’s cleaning your room. Sometimes it’s quitting a bad habit. Sometimes it’s having that conversation you’re afraid of having. Sometimes it’s not just wrapping yourself up in a blanket and relaxing – it’s about taking action to solve the problem.
4. The words you use and the things you do define you – I mean yeah, obviously. But have you ever thought about it from your life’s point of view?
The words you use do not only mean the ones that you speak out loud. It’s also about the words that you think, the words that are present in your subconscious mind. It’s funny how negatively we think about ourselves sometimes – not to mention being sarcastic about our own selves. But this can in fact make us live up to those negative labels and self-characterization.
There is a quote I found that I think is … factual. ‘You’re made of everything you do.’ – and I couldn’t agree more. You are the one who has the ability and capacity to take action to become that person you want to be. If our actions do not meet our desires, we will never get there. It goes to show that self-discipline is a must in your self love journey.
And my final perspective on self love? LOVE your life. Yes, it’s difficult – how can you love your life when the amount of responsibilities you have to fulfill and the stress that follows just keeps building up, when you are stuck in a job you hate or when you have a ton of work to do and don’t know where to start? It’s just so overwhelming. But we are doing enough; we are doing too much. Always remember, love yourself first and everything else falls into line. Strive to improve yourself so that you can be a better person today than you were yesterday. Never ever give up on yourself !
Written By:
