Have you ever wondered how many decisions you make every day? From deciding what time to wake up in the morning, choosing what to wear to university and finally deciding when to put your phone away and go to sleep, we make countless decisions every single day unintentionally. From simple choices to life changing situations, decisions play an important role in shaping us into a better version of ourselves or a hard-earned life lesson.
Decision making is a complex process and the idea that people make completely independent decisions is often misleading. As humans are social creatures who often lean into others, most of the decisions we make are influenced by someone else in one way or another.
No one grows up completely alone. It is impossible to live without being swayed by other people because, as human beings, since childhood, family influence our earliest decisions. We observe the behaviour of our family members and that makes us understand what is right and what is wrong. Even before we knew the meaning of the word “choice”, our parents taught us what was polite, what is respectful behaviour, and what was worth working hard for. Even though some kids tend to think that they are rebelling against their parents, the current decisions they make reflect the values parents gave in the first place.
Then comes our friends and the people we meet along the road of life. Despite the fact that our education shapes us into a brighter future, the small marks left by people we meet throughout life affect the way we look at problems and opportunities, thus influencing on how we make decisions in those situations. Sometimes people encourage us to take risks we never imagined. Other times they stop us from making mistakes. Either way, their voices become part of the conversation inside our heads whenever we make an important decision.
Today’s world has introduced a new kind of influence: social media. As the documentary The Social Dilemma reminds us, “If you’re not paying for the product, you are the product.” Every scroll exposes us to advertisements, influencers, opinions and trends that quietly shape what we want and what we believe. We tell ourselves we’re “just looking,” but somehow, we end up buying a product we didn’t even know existed five minutes earlier. Coincidence? Probably not.
Considering everything, does this mean we have no free will? Not at all. Being influenced is not the same as being controlled. We have the supremacy over what to accept from others and what to leave behind. As the saying goes “Don’t base your decisions on the advice of those who don’t have to deal with the results”, in the end we are the ones who live with the consequences of our own choices. Whether it is choosing a degree, career, or partner we are the ones that will experience the outcome not our friends, not our parents or anyone else. Also following others all the time can lead to regret if their choices don’t align with our values. Individual decisions allow us to live authentically rather than simply meeting other people’s expectations.
If every decision is made by someone else, we miss the opportunity to learn from our own successes and failures. Personal growth comes from making choices and accepting their outcomes. What works for someone else may not work for us. One’s dreams, strengths and circumstances are unique, so the decisions should reflect who we are. The important thing isn’t trying to avoid influence that would be impossible. Instead, it’s learning to recognize where our ideas come from, think critically about them and choose the path that feels right for us. That’s what real independence looks, it is about listening, reflecting and having the courage to make the decision that is right for ourselves.
As Steve Jobs once said, “Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice.” Advice and influence can light the path, but only we can decide which direction to take. True wisdom lies in learning from others while remaining true to ourselves.
Written By: –
Rtr. Vishmika Weerasinghe
(Junior Blog Team Member 2026-27)
