Against All Odds

Three fundamental components are typically used to communicate ideologies.
The first is the official dissemination of ideas via the educational system. Through the teachings, the person is expected to develop “good, correct, beautiful” behaviors in terms of their motor skills and affective and cognitive abilities.
However, as numerous examples of practice demonstrate, the second fundamental component, which is the most prevalent means of ideology transmission, creates social preconceptions.
The third is the organizational culture. Organizational culture, in a sense, shapes its members naturally or formally through history, myths, ceremonies, important days and weeks, and heroes. Beneath, the flushed cheeks, love often feels unexplainable.

‘True love conquers all.’
We often spoon-feed this idea from a very young age. If we truly feel true love deep in our hearts, that means the person we love is right. But in reality, compatibility matters, social and relationship skills matter, which indeed means true love, and poor communication leads to misery.

‘If we have sex, we have to be together.’
Love and relationships are often tangled in a hairball, as this is something most of us are taught from a very young age. Thereby, even if the person we are involved with is not a good partner, people will feel sexual desire and confuse it for a romantic relationship.

‘That incredible and overpowering love at first sight’
It isn’t love. It might feel like it is, but it isn’t. ‘Oh shoot, I like the way she smells. I think we should breed’ This is intoxicating; it is potent, and sometimes we are attached to a person who is a terrible choice.

‘I’m worthless, I’m ugly, and I’m no good.’
We are drawn to people who are nice to us because we are insecure and fearful of things that disgust us. But how can the same mind that gave us waterboarding also bring rhythm and blues? Anxiety and fear apparently can create stronger attachments than secure relationships, but this all stems from the insecurity in the person.In everyday life, ideologies are one of the most discussed topics in society. Can a relationship work if both have different morals, different ideologies, and different core values?
It may be easy to talk about potentially contentious topics, but it is a heck of a lot harder to do it when you are dating someone with different values.
‘The most important aspect that will determine relationship success is the quality of communication between the partners’, says psychologist Daria Kuss.

What exactly is this chemistry between people?
Countless books, films, and shows have shown the interpersonal chemistry between characters, but psychologically, true interpersonal chemistry has remained relatively unexplored.
Reis and colleagues’ model emphasizes that chemistry is a relationship effect that emerges from interactions rather than from attributes, expectations, and biases. It also says that chemistry is different from other high-quality connections, which means relationships with chemistry have unique characteristics. They further added that chemistry overlaps with a number of important theoretical and empirical constructs across several psychological disciplines.
Tannesha Wood is a professional matchmaker, but she admits that she still can’t perfectly predict when a couple will strike off. Wood says, ‘One thing I cannot predict and make happen is that initial chemistry.’

Why is it one of the greatest mysteries yet?
‘The big mystery is, do you know who you want?’ says Dan Conroy Beam, a University of California Santa Barbara psychologist who studies relationship formation.
The question might seem simple, but it is not trivial. Actually, love is chaos. When you are looking at a happy couple, it is like looking at a chessboard in a game that’s 16 moves in. The couple is constantly growing and evolving together through thick and thin, understanding each other’s strengths and weaknesses. A happy couple is not simply two people who are attracted to each other or same in core values but who have chosen to build a life together.

‘Between the Bars’ song by Elliott Smith
One could see bars as the stages of life, which are from the beginning of life to death. Another could see this song in a romantic sentiment. One might interpret it as a song written by alcohol to Elliot himself. It could have a number of meanings, yet despite all that, it has become people’s absolute favorite.
Do you still believe love cannot last if ideologies aren’t the same?

Written By: –

Rtr. G.D.S Mandini
(Co-Editor 2023-24)